How Do You Know When Your Dog’s Behavior Is Actually a Problem?

I’ve found that the little annoyances of living with a dog are mostly signs of issues in my broader environment. But when does it make sense to pay attention to problems?

A few weeks ago, Otis came flying to the window barking at something he heard outside. I rubbed his back lovingly as I asked him what he had noticed. As I sat there blissfully offering scratches while he bellowed at the world, I started to laugh. How many times had Otis done this exact same thing only to be met with a “Otis, please shut up.” It was such a stark reminder that how I view my dogs’ behaviors likely says more about me and my world than their actual behavior. It got me thinking: how do we know when something a dog is doing is actually a problem?

What Is a “Problem” Anyway?

I got out some pens and decided to try to map it out. I had a hard time coming up with measurable (or semi-measurable) ways of diagnosing a problem. When I finished my little flow chart, capital “P” Problems seemed to boil down to those that impact the dog’s quality of life, the guardian’s quality of life, or others’ (who are around them) quality of life. Is that right? I’m not sure. When is it wise to pay attention to a lower-case “p” problem?

I think a big part of the human population still has warped expectations for dogs. There is this notion that they will do exactly what people say and move through the world quietly in gratitude for the food and shelter they are provided. So anytime a dog isn’t meeting those expectations, it becomes a problem to be fixed – usually to make the human’s life easier. But here’s the thing: in all my life, I’ve never lived with a human who I had zero “problems” with. Some of them left dishes everywhere, others were really loud late at night, etc. Living with others comes with challenges. Full stop. I don’t know when people got it in their heads that living with a dog would result in zero interruptions. In many cases, the problem lies with the expectations – not with the dog. But not always.

And what does it say about a problem if one day I think it’s fine and the next I don’t? I think it likely clues me in about the rest of my conditions. I seem to co-exist with certain dog behaviors better when the rest of my life doesn’t feel like a complete shit show. So is the problem the dog’s behavior or the rest of the chaos in my life?

Little Behaviors as Clues, Not Crises

I’ve found that the little annoyances of living with a dog (or just another living being) are mostly signs of issues in my broader environment and not things that need to be addressed. But when does it make sense to pay attention to lower case “p” problems? In some cases, I think those small problems serve as little hints about how we might change our dogs' environments to better help them thrive. For example, do they stop pawing us non-stop during post-dinner TV time if we just proactively play with them for five minutes before we settle into our show? In other cases, the small version of the problem may not drastically lower anyone’s quality of life but if the problem got worse, it certainly would. I think my silly flowchart holds up for the obvious big problems, but when a little problem is likely to become a big problem, it probably makes sense to work with the problem while it’s small.

Finding the Line Between Acceptance and Action